The Embrace of the Darkness
by EllieTheLesbian
Summary: It's the trio's sixth year at Hogwarts, and, as usual, things are turned upside down. It's revealed that Bellatrix is really on the Light side, and Hermione is harboring her own dark secrets. Can Bella unlock the secrets and save Hermione from herself?
1. Prologue

A/N: This story will be pretty dark at times. There will be mentions of self harming, abuse, and possibly rape at some point. This story will develop into a Hermione/Bellatrix pairing. Don't like, don't read. Constructive criticism is always welcome. This is my first fanfiction, so everything is welcome. Any Beta offers will be considered.

A/N2: I figured I'd lost some of you on that last one. The rest of the chapters will be much longer. This is only the prologue.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The wonderful realm of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling a.k.a. the best woman on earth!

I stared out at the gently rolling countryside as the rocking of the train beneath me began to lull me into a dimmer state of self awareness. I still heard the sounds of my two best friends laughing amongst themselves, but it didn't penetrate the bubble I had formed around myself. Neither Harry nor Ron had realized that I was slipping down the slope into depression, my mind spiraling ever further as that sat mere feet away. I did not move, simply staring out of the window beside my seat as the world outside it slowly darkened. The sky was reflecting my mood and my thoughts. The longer I was left alone to stew in my thoughts, the tighter my depression's tendrils wrapped themselves abut the core of my being. Absentmindedly, the thumb of my left hand began to trace the criss-crossing pattern of delicate, pink scars. They twisted, crossed, and intertwined from my wrist to my elbow. When I was unable to make more, feeling the unevenness of the skin there held me over until the next time I could.

With a screech, the great train stopped in the magical village of Hogsmeade. Numbly I got up to go along with the others. I could not help but to study each face in the crowd wondering what was going on inside their heads. Why they felt whatever it was they were feeling. Was anyone else being slowly devoured by an emptiness that never got full? Did anyone else know what it felt like to have their insides scooped out and replaced with a poison that was slowly corroding them from within? No, I didn't think there was anyone there who felt quite the way I did

"Hermione, you coming?" Harry's voice broke me out of my silent musings. I looked up to find he and Ron were already several yards ahead of me on the winding path leading to the carriages that would take us to Hogwarts castle. The carriages were somehow enchanted to power their own way up to the castle. But, wait, the carriages were harnessed to something. I sped up upon the sight. Upon reaching the carriages, I could see that each was connected by a black leather harness to a sort of skeletal horse creature whose hide blended right in with the harness. Panicked, my eyes flickered past, looking for anyone who also seemed to be seeing these creatures. I couldn't have been imagining them, could I? The dark rot inside me had not yet reached my brain, had it? Something about these creatures tickled the back of my mind. I knew the information, but it was too much of a struggle to try to get it out. I could hear the beast in me chuckling at my struggle. It always did enjoy my pain. As this thought crossed my mind, my thumb began to trace my arm again. At this movement, the beast howled with mirth.

"Are you okay? You look ill," Ron said, as tactful as ever. When my eyes focused again, they came to rest on the door of the carriage where I could see that the boys had already climbed in. I couldn't believe I'd spaced out again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about all the interesting new stuff we'll be learning this year. I hear fifth year is when Professor McGonagall will teach us the theory of Merlin's third experimental transfigurative method," I said, off the top of my head, making up everything as I went along. Luckily, I knew the boys well enough to know that they had tuned me out early on in that sentence. I forced the best smile I could manage onto my face and climbed my way into the carriage. As I gazed out the window at the horse creatures, I vowed to spend time doing research in the library. No matter what it took, I was going to find out what these creatures were. In the process, I would prove to myself I was not, in fact, crazy. Or was I?

A/N 3: All further Chapters will be longer.


	2. Chapter 1: The Announcement

A/N: Wow, thank you all for the wonderful response this story has gotten so far. It has inspired me to work very hard on this chapter and I hope that it lives up to any and all expectations you may have formed. Enjoy, and I will see you at the bottom. (:

When the carriage came to a shaky halt inside the gates of Hogwarts, I felt myself move, but was not aware of commanding myself to. I sat back, a mere passenger in the vessel of my own body as I slipped out of the carriage and toward the doors. Again, I felt myself stop, and looked around to realize I was next to the horse creatures. I lifted up a hand to touch one, but the moment I brushed a finger against it, a chill shuddered its way down my spine. An icy anguish thrashed in my gut, making me double over in pain, and I had to swallow back the bile that rose to my mouth. Quickly, I jostled the end of my robes so as to make it appear that I had only been tying my shoes. As I straightened u, I realized I was one of the last stragglers. All but a handful of students were already inside the castle. A quick survey of those around e told me that my two companions had made their way in without me. A pang of loneliness shot through me, but I dismissed it. Harry and Ron had probably thought I'd already made my way inside. I set off, up the steps and into the Entrance Hall. Hurriedly, I crossed into the Great Hall, in which most students were already seated. Because of this, I was forced to spend a short amount of time being stared at.

As inconspicuously as I could manage, I slipped into my seat between Ron and Harry. As I did so, Dumbledore rose to his feet at the High Table. The movement caught my attention, and I let my eyes sweep across the table. All the old familiar faces were there, except, Snape was in the seat of the DADA professor. This couldn't have been right. He must have just been sitting there until the real new Professor arrives. Even so, there was an empty seat. It didn't make any sense in my mind. Every year before then the new teacher had been seated at the table when the feast began, other than fourth year when Moody's imposter showed up late.

I was pulled from my thoughts as Dumbledore cleared his throat and began his speech. "Now, as you all probably already know, Professor Umbridge will not be coming back this year," he paused as cheers rang out across the hall. "Also, we all know that the ministry acknowledged the fact that Lord Voldemort is indeed back," Most of the hall shifted uncomfortably at these words, and I began to trace my fingers across my scars again as I relived the terrible battle in the Department of Mysteries. Oh, how I wished it had stayed a mystery to me and my group of friends. "What many of the people in this room do not realize is that had it not been for one of his supposed followers, the battle would have resulted in the deaths of many innocent lives, some of which are seated in this very room. Many years ago, I personally requested of this so called follower to be such. I asked her to infiltrate the Inner Circle of the darkest wizard that has ever walked this planet. This 'follower' did so, at great risk to their own life. They went on raids and protected those they could. Obliviating the ones with them, so they could take the credit of the evil committed. This amazing person has lied straight to Voldemort's face, risking their life every time they did, hiding behind the shield of their own mind to keep themselves safe from His legilimency. This follower has, in fact been loyal, not to Voldemort, but to me. In order to keep up the façade, they accepted a sentence in Azkaban, and spent a large portion of time there for crimes they did not commit. All of this was done in order to give me the information needed to protect as many of you and your families as I could, while feeding Voldemort half truths that were enough to save yet others lives. In all senses of the word, this person is a hero. With y word, interrogation of both of us under Veriteserum, and many dives into our memories, the Ministry has agreed to clear this person's name. The announcement will be in tomorrow's Daily Prophet, but the Minister required I tell you all myself, first, in order to avoid any panic and to keep parents from being as willing to keep their children from coming back to Hogwarts this year. This person shall be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Are you ready to meet them?"

This speech was met by a nervous silence that echoed throughout the Hall. I felt my mind racing, trying to piece together the clues as to who it could be. Someone who'd spent time in Azkaban. That ruled the list down to those that had escaped last year, meaning it had to be Dolohov, the Lestrange brothers, Bellatrix Lestrange, Mulciber, Rookwood, or Travers. My mind raced, searching Dumbledore's speech for any type of clue as to who it could be. As I mentally went over it, it jumped out at me that Dumbledore kept referring to the person as they, never giving them a gender. The only possible explanation for this was that the gender would give it away. The only way that made sense in my still befuddled mind was if it was a woman, as the majority of Deatheaters were male. The only viable option that made sense was Bellatrix Lestrange. As this realization hit me, I couldn't repress a quiet gasp. Harry turned his head to the side a bit to look questioningly at me. Fortunately, I was saved from having to explain when Dumbledore spoke once more.

"It's time for you to come out now," Dumbledore called and the door that led to the small chamber Harry was taken into the day his name came out of the Goblet of Fire opened. Out stepped a tall, lean woman. Her hair, which had been an untamable mass the only other time I had seen her, now flowed in gentle waves to the middle of her back, black as onyx, but shined like gold. Her eyes, no longer wild with manic laughter, were a deep chocolate color, lined in silver and shadowed in a deep almost black plum color, framed by lusciously thick dark lashes. Her skin, which, the last time I had seen it, had been splotchy from anger and the energy of the fight was now pale and smooth, yet it seemed radiant, like her skin had been woven with moonlight. When she smiled, rather tentatively I might add, I noticed that her teeth were no longer crooked and yellow, but in perfectly straight rows and as white as a cloud on a clear summer's day. She walked with the grace of a dancer, and the easy pride of someone confident in themselves as she made her way to stand beside Dumbledore's chair. "Everyone, please welcome Professor Bellatrix Black."

It was at this point that the occupants of the Hall seemed to realize who it was in their midst and they began to cry out. Shouts of "Are you bloody mad?" and "That's Bellatrix Lestrange for Merlin's sake!" rang out across the hall. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I wasn't sure at the moment how I felt about the situation. If everything Dumbledore had said was true, then I was excited to be learning from one of the most brilliant and powerful witches alive today. However, if it was untrue, if Bellatrix had somehow tricked Dumbledore into this, then we were all doomed. Spending a year's worth of lessons in the same classroom as this woman, a woman who, until very recently, was known to enjoy torture and cruelty, filled me with uneasiness as well as some odd form of excitement.

"Silence!" Dumbledore's deep, calming voice boomed out, seeming to crash in waves against the house table as, slowly, every student in the Hall fell silent. "Bellatrix is now a respected member of our society. She has risked her life everyday for the past twenty or so years to protect all of you in this room. You will all treat her with the respect she deserves, or I will personally punish you myself." His tone seemed to simmer with anger a little under the surface, and the trademark twinkle in his eyes had gone out. I watched as every student who'd shouted out began to look guilty and shuffle around awkwardly. Harry and Ron were among them, of course. These two young, brash boys were quick to anger and somehow appeared not to be able to believe the man they both looked up to. I just sighed, and glanced at the High Table. Bellatrix appeared to be looking in my general direction, so I flashed her the best smile I could muster as a sort of apology for the behavior of my classmates. It could have been a flicker in the candle light, but I was pretty sure that Bellatrix's own lips curled up slightly in response.

"Now, if you will all settle down, let the start of term feast begin!" With that, Dumbledore swept his arm through the air, motioning from one side of the Hall to the other, and in the wake of his arm's path, food began appearing on the golden plates at the center of the tables. I continued to watch the High Table as Dumbledore took his seat, and Bellatrix seemingly glided down to her chair which had by this point been vacated by Snape, and took her seat. Only then did I allow myself to turn around to enjoy the buffet of delicious food in front of myself. Harry was being unusually quiet, seemingly lost in his thoughts, while Ron kept throwing furtive glances at the newest professor seated at the High Table. The rest of the Hall was at a record settingly high lever of noise. It had never been louder during the start of term feast as long as I had attended Hogwarts.

I spent most of dinner pushing the food around on my plate, merely nibbling a little. It wasn't that the food wasn't delicious, it was definitely up to Hogwarts' par, but my thoughts were so focused on the enchantingly beautiful Dark witch seated no less than one hundred meters from where I was seated. Had she really not committed those crimes? If she was willing to so freely risk her own life for everyone else's, what was the real Bellatrix like? Certainly not as mad as everyone thought her to be, right? I found myself asking y mind questions like these, questions that I did not have the answers for. I had always hated not knowing the answer to anything. For this very reason, Bellatrix Black intrigued me. Therein lay another question. Was I willing to do what it took to get to know the older, raven haired witch? I was so adrift in this sea of uncertainty in my mind, that I did not realize we had been dismissed from the feast until I found myself standing in the Gryffindor Common Room calling goodnight to my two best friends as I made my way to my own dormitory. I shook my head in an attempt to get my mind to remain in the present. It didn't work, for I was lost in my own mind again until about ten minutes later when I slid into my four poster bed, already changed into my pajamas. Once I slid into the familiarly comfortable sheets, I blew out the candle on my bedside table. I was exhausted by this point, and, for the first time in months, found sleep came to me easily. 

A few hours later, I awoke in a cold sweat, adrenaline coursing through my veins, and tears coating my face. I sat up, trying to shove the memory of the nightmare out of my mind. I curled my knees into my chest and sat rocking back in forth as I silently sobbed for half an hour. When it seemed clear to me that I was not going to be able to calm myself down this way, I found myself craving the bite of my steel blade like I craved a breath of air. I cast Accio in order to find it in the dark without waking my dorm mates. As I felt the tiny, cool piece of metal rest in the palm of my hand, I felt my chest become a little bit less restricted, and my breathing came a bit easier. Coolly, and calmly, I pressed the edge of it into the flesh of my forearm and quickly drug it across, creating a moderately deep, straight gash across it. From the moonlight filtering in through the window, I was able to watch the blood seep out and begin to run down my arm. I told myself I was only going to do twenty this time, and so I set about repeating the process nineteen more times. By the end, the blood had run all over my arm, dripped onto my legs crossed underneath it, and run onto the sheets of my bed. I conjured a bandage, and wrapped it tightly around my forearm, hissing lightly at the pain of the pressure against my fresh wounds. This made me wind it tighter. When I was convinced it was tight enough, I used a spell to secure it in place. The cutting had freed a lot of what had been bothering me, but I still found myself upset. At this point, I accioed a piece of parchment and my favorite quill. I began writing, pouring out my thoughts, fears, and feelings into this rhyming piece of literature. The end result was:

My eyes are open, but I can't see.

This dark cloud of depression

Hides the world from me.

I'm losing myself in this oppression.

I'm alone, yet people are all around.

No one dares to look close enough,

They just leave me on the ground,

Unable to see through this bluff.

My smile is laced with lies,

And these scars only grow thicker.

The key to my sorrow is in my eyes,

There it lingers, a dying whisper.

Anguish poisons my blood,

Causing turmoil inside.

My lie is carefully crafted,

But the truth is getting harder to hide.

My pain is rising to the surface,

Begging to be released.

Agony leaves me breathless,

And out comes my inner beast.

This beast, this creature of the night,

Is starting to take over my life.

From this torture, there is no respite,

Except in my own knife.

Once finished with that, /I was sufficiently satisfied with getting the feelings inside me unbottled and lay down to get a little more sleep before the first day of classes began.

A/N: Yes, the poem is an original work of mine. Sorry it took so long to update, my internet went down, but as soon as it was up and I saw the support you lovely people had been sending me, I got to work writing this chapter. If you enjoyed, please review and let me know I'm doing well. If not, review and tell e why. Thank you all, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I am enjoying the opportunity to write it.


	3. Chapter 2: Thoughts of a Wounded Girl

A/N: I know, I know. You all hate me right now. I promise I can explain why it took me so long to get this chapter out. My grandmother got very sick, so my mother and Iwent out of state to take care of her for about a month. Upon my arrival back at my home state I went to my girlfriend's house where she promptly dumped me, resulting in a week long stay in a psych ward for cutting. Once I got out, I moved in with my ex (yes the one that was the reason I went to the hospital in the first place) and her parents. I had to settle in and get m therapy set up. Anywho, enough with the excuses, here is a chapter for your pleasure. Enjoy! (:

I woke in a cold sweat once more just as the first rays of the morning light broke the treetops. I glanced at my bedside clock only to discover it was just after five in the morning. Knowing any further attempts at sleep would be fruitless, I quietly slipped out of my bed, gathered my clothes for the day and padded out of my dorm. I stealthily made my way to the nearest prefects' bathroom in order to shower. While I was waiting for the water to heat up, I began to unravel the bandage from around my forearm. I hissed in pain as the water caressed the wounds there. Blood mixed with the water to make little ribbons of pink that slipped down the drain. It was a beautiful sight to see. My pain was washing off and going away. I stared transfixed until all of the water ran clear. It was then that I finally looked down at the cuts themselves. There they were, ruby gashes wrapping around my arm. Ironic really, that Gryffindor's hourglass is filled with rubies. We receive them when we do good, but I release m own ruby drops when the darkness comes. This train of thought caused me to chuckle darkly as I drug my scrubby over the wounds. I must not let them get infected. Honestly, I could have kept them clean, and even healed them with magic, but that would undermine the purpose. It would take away the raw emotion behind all of this. No, I will stick to the muggle way with these.

After allowing myself a few more moments of the painful prickle of hot water, I began to get ready for the day ahead of me. I glanced at my arm in the process of drying off and never was I more greatful for the fact that Hogwarts school robes were made with long sleeves. My bloody secret would remain mine.

A/N 2: I know it is an incredibly short chapter, but I really wanted to get something up for everyone who ma be interested in this story. I will begin writing another chapter as soon as I possibly can, but seeing as this Saturday is my birthday (Sweet Sixteen!) I may not have the opportunity for a little while, though I swear the wait won't be nearly as long as the wait for this one. Once again, I am deeply apologetic for the wait!


	4. Chapter 3: The Fall

A/N: Sooo, it's officially my birthday. Whoo! It doesn't really feel any different. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. It really helps with my confidence, and inspires me to write. Each review brings a smile to my face, and for that I thank you. A special thank you to everyone who wished me an early happy birthday. So, enough prattling on, here is a chapter for you lovely readers. Enjoy! (:

By the time I had completely finished my morning routine more occupants of the castle had begun to stir. Upon entering the Gryffindor common room, I found that Harry and Ron were walking down the staircase, still rubbing the sleep out of their eyes.

"Good morning," I called as brightly as I could muster, letting a mask of happiness envelop my face.

"Morning," both of the boys mumbled as they stumbled their way towards the portrait hole. I waited for them to pass, dropped the fake smile from my face, and followed slightly behind them. I was trying to avoid any type of conversation. I couldn't gather enough energy to pull off a normal conversation with the two, yet. Over the past years of knowing the boys, our friendship had begun to take a toll on me. In the beginning, I was a much happier young girl. I was so naïve then. However, throughout the years, this dark beast inside me reared its ugly head and fought to control more and more of my mind. It had become so much harder to listen to their light hearted banter and almost impossible to join it myself.

Having once again gotten lost in my own thoughts, I was surprised to find that we had made it all the way to the Great Hall. I sat down in my customary seat beside Harry. Ronald, as per usual, had already started stuffing his mouth far beyond its capacity. Even Harry had his own small mountain of food in front of him. My own stomach churned at the thought of eating anything. I grabbed a piece of toast, covered it in jam, and forced myself to eat it along with a few sips of pumpkin juice. I spent the rest of breakfast time just idly listening to the conversations of those around me, wishing so desperately to be normal again. I wanted nothing more than to have my nightmares be nothing more than a bad grade, and my deepest worry to be failing a test. I wished the darkest thing to cross my mind was a prank to pull. No one around me truly grasped how lucky they were. How truly blessed they were to not be trapped as prisoners in their own minds.

I watched as many students around me began to filter out of the Hall. I assumed it must be close to time for the first class to begin. I stood and looked to the boys who were in a playful argument about Quiditch teams. "Harry, Ron, let's go. We cannot be late to Potions. Professor Snape would have our heads. It's only the first day of term. We really mustn't lose any house points yet," I said briskly channeling as much of my former self as I could. To my relief, they just quietly grumbled to themselves, but otherwise did not remark on what I had said. I took that to mean that they had not caught on to my façade yet. Harry and Ron took the lead again as we headed out of the Great Hall. The clicking of heels caught my attention. I brought my gaze up from where it had been trained on the floor and it fell instead upon the figure of one Miss Bellatrix Lestrange. She was clad in a black knee length skirt with deep purple embroidery, knee high four inch heeled boots, and a black corset, with a very deep purple cloak pinned about her shoulder. Her dark, luscious hair cascaded down her shoulders. A few loose strands had found their way to the small portion of her cleavage that peeked above the top of her corset. The contrast of her hair, dark as midnight, and her porcelain skin was mesmerizing. As my eyes met hers, I felt as if my heart rate doubled. She curled her lips into a smirk as if she could hear the increase in my pulse. I took my befuddled mind a minute to realize that I had completely halted and had been staring at her. Upon this realization, I felt my cheeks burn with a fierce blush. I ducked my head down, and closed my eyes. Humiliation bubbled in my chest, and I began mentally kicking myself as I resumed my journey to Potions. The beast in me laughed at me. It made fun of what I'd done. I became so preoccupied with listening to it, that I hadn't been paying enough attention to walking. My foot caught my heel and down I went. Since I was already so lost in my head again, it took too long to register that I was falling and as such I had no time to try to break my fall. With a slap of skin on stone, and a dull crack, my body collided with the hard, stone floor. I felt my head hit it and bounce back up, my arm was bent up underneath me, and my knees smashed into the ground last. It took about two seconds before all of the pain hit me. I felt like I'd been run over. I shifted, trying to get up, only to cry out and fall back down. It was at that point that I realized that my face was lying in something moist and warm. I blinked back a few hot tears, and tried not to let out the scream that was bubbling in my chest. It seemed like I had been lying there for hours, but in reality, I had only tripped about thirty seconds before. I heard the clacking of heels again, ringing too loudly through my throbbing head and then a pair of knees came into my line of vision as someone knelt in front of me. Then, I felt a cool, soothing hand brush across my cheek.

"Are you okay? Well, of course you aren't okay. You fell, you're bleeding. Oh gosh," a voice above me babbled. It was cute, and the voice was sweet. I tried to come up with a better way to describe the voice I heard, but there was none. It was sweet, it wrapped me up in each word it spoke, and caressed the pain away.

"I'm fine," I tried to say, but all my voice would allow to come out was a crackled moan of pain. I cursed my throat for choosing this moment to rebel against me. I didn't want the sweet voiced person to get a bad first impression of me. Later on, looking back at this moment, I would come to realize that I must have hit my head harder than I'd thought. There was no other way to rationalize why I still hadn't figured out who it was that had come to my aid.

"Oh!" exclaimed the voice above me as the owner of it began to flit her hands over my head and across my body, lightly pressing, listening to my quiet hisses of pain. I knew she was trying to find out where I was hurt at, but I found myself supressing any complaint that tried to force its way past my tightly sealed lips. I found that I didn't want to seem weak to her. I felt the arms of the woman above me encompass my body, as she lifted me up. She pulled me closer as she stood until I was pressed flush against the plush softness of her body. I took a deep breath and was bombarded with the scent of lavender, honey, and a hint of mint. I thought I would pass out from sensory overload. I realized soon, however, that the feeling of passing out probably came more from my head wound than the woman holding me. I felt the gentle rocking of her pace, and the clicking of her heels as she carried me away, most likely to the Infirmary. Every so often, the clicking pattern of her footsteps was interrupted by a quiet splat sound. I assumed this must be the sound of the blood hitting the floor. Dimly I wondered what Harry and Ron were thinking of my failure to show up for class. The list of possibilities that had popped into my mind was cut off by the arms releasing me into a bed. I blinked against the bright lights as they burned into my eyes, worsening the pain in my already pounding skull. Her footsteps clicked away. After a short pause, the clicking came back accompanied by the soft thud of another's footsteps.

There was a pause, and I felt the tingle of magic passing over my skin. It pressed against every curve gently probing. I knew what was happening. Madame Pomfrey was casting a charm to find any injuries. This neat little spell always reminded me of a muggle x-ray machine. After a moment the magic subsided and Madame Pomfrey turned to the woman beside her. My vision was still blurry from the fall, so all I could make out about the other person was that she was tall and dark.

"Miss Granger's injuries are not too severe, though, she definitely needed my assistance. Thank you for bringing her here. She has some trauma to her head, which has caused a concussion, as well as a small wound where the force of the blow has broken her skin. Her right forearm has a hairline fracture, and two ribs are cracked. Her knees, though severely bruised are not damaged in a lasting way," Madame Pomfrey informed the woman beside her.

"You can fix all of that, of course, Poppy. What I don't understand is how a mere fall could have given the girl this many injuries," came the sweet voice.

"Well, Bella, her bones seem weak. It's as if she hasn't been getting the proper amount of nutrition for a while. Also, there is something very curious. She has other wounds that could not have been caused by her fall," was Madame Pomfrey's reply. She called the voice Bella. Did that mean what I thought it did?

"What do you mean, Poppy?" the sweet voice was confused now.

"There are some cuts, twenty to be exact, on her right forearm. They appear to be self-inflicted," Madame Pomfrey's voice was grave.

"You mean," there was a pause as the sweet voice trembled a little. "You mean to say that this young girl is purposefully hurting herself?"

"I'm afraid so, Bella," was all Madame Pomfrey said in return. "She needs rest. We will discuss this with Minerva and Albus shortly." After saying that, Madame Pomfrey approached e and poured a light potion down my throat. Almost immediately, I felt myself begin to slip into unconsciousness.

A/N 2: There you have it. The first interaction between our dear Hermione and Bella. To answer a few questions I've gotten, no Hermione is not turning dark, she just has depression along with a few other mental issues. Also, she has had some terrible things happen to her in her past. You will learn more about that later. And in response to the reviewer who told me that my usual ends up as just y, I apologize for that. My computer is old and the keyboard tends to mess up sometimes, the m is very particular. With most words, it tells me when the m doesn't show up, but my Microsoft Word does not underline individual letters, therefore y just blends in. I try to catch my mistakes, but I don't have a beta, so it can be difficult. Anywho, even though it's my birthday, this chapter is my girt to all of you. Leave me reviews for presents? (:

A/N 3: I'm considering doing the next chapter from Bellatrix's point of view so we can see the teachers' discussion about Hermione's cutting. Would you guys be interested in that? Review or PM me and let me know. Hope you all have a great day/night!


	5. Chapter 4: Discussions and Decisions

A/N: Here you are, a chapter from Bellatrix's point of review. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, they inspire me to write. Also, if you would like to get inforation on where I am with this story or when the next update can be expected, follow me on twitter. elliethelesbian.

My mind was reeling as Poppy and I exited the Hospital Wing. Hermione Granger was cutting herself. Hermione of the Golden Trio! It did not make any sense in my mind. The girl was famous and she was brilliant. With her chestnut curls, chocolate eyes, and ivory skin no one could deny her beauty, either. Her friends were loyal and devoted. I had never seen any bond rival the relationship this young girl shared with the two boys. However, her life clearly was not as good as it seemed. I could tell something was lurking beneath the surface, but what was it? Right then and there, in the middle of the corridor, I vowed to myself that I would find out what was wrong and do anything and everything in my power to help her get better. I had spent too much of my life pretending to hurt people, and I was sick of it. All of my childhood, I had strived to do better. I pushed myself to be the top in my classes so that I could one day make a better life for myself. I wanted to get away from my parents and their closed minded views. Unfortunately, Dumbledore had other plans for me. From the moment I had finally been able to stop pretending to be such a repulsive person, I had been looking for a way to redeem myself, to help. Hermione delivered this opportunity to me on a silver platter.

"Bella, why don't you go ahead to the Headmaster's office? I will fetch Minerva and be right there. The password is Acid Pops," Poppy suggested as we came to the place where our paths would diverge from one another. I nodded my head in agreement as I took a right while she continued forward, disappearing down towards the Transfiguration Professor's office.

After a few minutes of walking, I found myself facing a stone gargoyle. This statue was so familiar to me. In fact, my stomach dropped at the sight of the little creature. I had faced this lifeless beast before two pivotal moments in my life. One the worst I had experienced at that point, the other the best. The first moment was when Dumbledore gave me my orders to infiltrate Voldemort's Inner Circle. The second was a few weeks before when I had finally come back and admitted to Dumbledore that I couldn't play the part anymore. I shook my head to clear my mind of all of these thoughts, and called out, "Acid Pops." Immediately, the gargoyle leaped aside revealing a spiral staircase that was slowly climbing upwards. I paused with a foot hovering above the steps. I had to calm my nerves before I could face Dumbledore again. My mind just kept replaying the moment when he ripped my future away from me. I swallowed hard, then placed my foot down, followed by the other one. All too soon, I arrived in front of an oak door with a polished brass door knocker in the shape of a Griffin. I tapped it against the door, listening as it made a solid knocking noise. I could hear movement coming fro the other side of the door and a few seconds later, the door was opened by Albus.

"Ah, Bellatrix, what brings you to see me? Is all not well?" Dumbledore questioned me when he saw that it was I who had knocked on his door. "Do come in," he added, stepping aside and sweeping his arm in front of himself as if guiding me in the door.

"Thank you, Headmaster," I mumbled as I stepped inside of his office and seated myself in one of the high backed armchairs in front of his desk. "I think we should wait for Poppy and Minerva before we begin to discuss the issue."

"Yes, perhaps we should," Albus stated as he seated himself behind his desk. He lightly pressed the tips of his fingertips together and studied me over the tops of them. "How are you, Bellatrix?" I stiffened at his question.

"I am fine, Albus," I said, allowing a small amount of venom to creep into my voice. His bright blue eyes sparkled at me over the tops of his half-moon glasses. I saw his doubt swirling in the azure depths.

"Is that so?" he asked, his voice light.

"Yes. I am as fine as can be expected after I spent half of my life pretending to be a murderer, and fourteen years locked in a cell constantly surrounded by dementors. My nightmares are back. I am just so alone, at night. That's when they come back," I finally spilled the truth after a momentary pause. I made sure to keep an edge in my tone. I knew why I spent those years doing such things. I knew it had helped save lives, but all the same, it was his fault I had done so.

Albus opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by three short raps of the knocker on his door. A small smile graced his lips as he heard it, and he mumbled, "Minerva, always the same knock." He then opened the door to reveal Minerva and Poppy. They both stepped inside and seated themselves on either side of me.

"Now, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Dumbledore asked smiling at the three of us.

"Really, it's such a terrible thing Albus. Far from what I would call a pleasure," replied Minerva gravely, shaking her head.

"What seems to be the problem?" Dumbledore's voice became laced with concern and his eyes darkened a shade.

"It's Hermione, sir. She fell this morning, and when Bellatrix brought her to me, I found out some shocking news. She had a few breaks, as she is too weak. Her body has not been getting the proper nourishment. Also, she has twenty methodical cuts on her arm that suggest she has been self-harming," Poppy piped up. Minerva, who also was hearing this for the first time let out a sharp gasp. Albus did not let the shock show on his face, but I had spent so much time studying people's behavior that I saw it in the way his mouth straightened just a tad and his hand sank into his lap.

"Please tell me you are mistaken, Poppy," Minerva said in a pleading tone.

"I'm sorry, but I can't," Poppy said shaking her head sadly.

"Albus, what are we going to do about this?" Minerva asked, whipping her head up to face Dumbledore.

"Well, Minerva, I think the girl needs to talk to someone, and she needs to be under constant supervision. I was thinking maybe having her room with someone responsible," Dumbledore mused.

"Well, that sounds reasonable," McGonagall agreed quietly, "but who?

"Honestly, I was thinking maybe Bellatrix. She's been through a lot and can probably relate to the girl. Unlike you, she does not have head of house duties to attend to, and I'm sure she would enjoy the company," Dumbledore's words were met with a stunned silence.

"M-me?" I stammered out, completely shell shocked. "I d-don't think sh-she would like that very m-much." I internally damned my nervous stutter.

"I am sure she would be willing to give it a chance," Dumbledore replied, a soft smile slowly taking shape on his face.

"Albus, you cannot be serious," Minerva spoke up once more. Anger rose up inside of e at her words. I felt as if she was making a stab at me. I wanted so desperately to prove to her that I am not this bad person everyone thinks I am.

"I am all for it if she agrees," I added, turning to stare down Minerva.

"I think it really is a good idea, actually," Poppy spoke up for the first time since she informed them about Hermione's self-harming. "It's good for the both of you.."

"So it's settled then, when Hermione gets released from the Hospital Wing it will be in to your care. You are to ensure that she eats well and keeps up with her schoolwork. Her all over well being is in your hands. You are to get her to talk to you about any and all problems. You are to not tell anyone else about anything she says," Dumbledore instructs me before turning his attention back to the group as a whole. "For now, let's keep this plan between the four of us, okay?"

We all agreed before mutely leaving the office and going our separate ways. I ended up wandering back to my suite. It was located behind the Defense Against the Dark Arts office. The entrance was concealed by a suit of armor. When given the correct password, the armor would step aside, and allow access to the tapestry that concealed my rooms. The tapestry was a deep blue night sky with a full moon.

"Twisted smiles," I uttered the password, barely audible, lost in my thoughts. I passed through the entrance into my living room and sank into the black leather couch. Trying to relax, I buried my toes in the plush black carpet beneath them. Relaxation was impossible at that point, but I had to try. I lied down on the couch, summoning a blanket from the closet and lit my fireplace. My brain was still reeling from the events of this morning. Sighing, I checked the time and saw that I had just enough tie to take a nap before my first class, which was after lunch. I snuggled deeper into my covers and fell asleep, my last thoughts being of Hermione.

A/N2: Review with any critiques, or just to tell me what you liked. I hope you all are enjoying my story. Remember, for information on this story, follow me on twitter elliethelesbian. (:


	6. Chapter 5: Hospital Insanity

I woke up to a dull ache in my head accompanied by a sense of confusion. I had no idea where I was. When I took in the stiff white sheets underneath me and the rows of beds on either side of my own I realized that I was in the Hospital Wing. It took a few seconds for the memory of the reason why I was in there to surface in my groggy mind. When the fog cleared from about the memory of the Bellatrix incident – that's what I had deemed it in my mind- embarrassment washed over me, creating a blush so deep I was sure the heat had scorched my cheekbones. Groaning, I heaved myself into a sitting position, biting my lip to hold back the scream that bubbled in my throat at the intense pain bursting in my head from the action. Instinctively, my hand reached down to brush my fingertips across the jagged texture of the scabs on my arms. To my utter horror, my searching fingers were met with soft, though scarred, skin. Frantically, I pressed my finger harder into my arm, being met only by supple flesh where there should have been wounds. Immediately, my mind raced as anxious tears began to form in my eyes. Had someone seen? They had to have. They healed me. Could I find a way to explain the cuts? Anything to make them seem an accident. I cannot let this secret get out. The Golden Girl, revealed to be a hollow shell; golden on the outside, while truly a darkness lurked within using it's acidity to break me from the inside out. My breathing quickened as my panic spiraled further out of control.

Suddenly, I heard a murmur of voices approaching. I threw myself back down completely ignoring the pain that shot through me as I did so. I deserved the pain. I had let myself be caught. Footsteps sounded in the doorway, so I closed my eyes and evened out my breathing as best I could with the panic still clawing at my chest. The people drew closer until the sounds of their footsteps ceased at the foot of my bed.

"She should be waking soon," came the quiet murmur of Madame Pomfrey. "The sleeping draught is due to be wearing off."

"How should we handle her? What if she becomes upset? The girl is fragile," McGonagall wondered, her voice thick with concern.

"It might be best if she didn't feel so crowded when she wakes," Madame Pomfrey's tone was pondering now. "Yes, I do believe that is best. Bellatrix, since you are so integral to this, why don't you stay here and be the one to speak to her?" So Bellatrix was here too? I had been unaware of her presence previous to this statement. For some reason unbeknownst to me, my heart seemed to pick up a little as I strained my ears to hear her reply.

"I don't know, Poppy. Don't you think my presence may stress her out? She, like the rest of the wizarding world, is not yet accustomed to viewing me as anything other than the bad guy," Bellatrix's voice was nervous, and she seemed almost shy. She was revealing herself to be the exact opposite of the personality she displayed as a Death Eater. This intrigued me. I longed to know which side of the personality was the true Bellatrix. My mind was always chewing at the bit to explore a new mystery, and one had just fallen into my lap. I had been undergoing difficulty with solving any mysteries as of late due to the depression I had fallen into, but despite that I made a promise to myself to get to know the true Bellatrix.

"She will have to get out of that train of thought soon enough, Bellatrix, if this is to succeed. We might as well start now. She's a bright witch, and loyal. She trusts Dumbledore, so she will trust you. Don't do anything stupid, and that won't change," Madame Pomfrey stated, clearly cutting off any further disagreement from the other party.

"Why, yes, I do believe you're right. However, are you sure now is the best possible time-" Bellatrix began timidly before being met with a curt affirmative from both McGonagall and Pomfrey. I head a shuffle of feet, and was met with my mental interpretation of what was happening. In my mind's eye, I saw McGonagall lead Bellatrix, slightly reluctantly, to the chair beside my bed, while Madame Pomfrey retreated. Soon after, the click of McGonagall's boots dissipated as well.

"Miss Granger, I know you're awake. I will not force you to speak to me if you do not wish to," Bellatrix's voice seemed nervous and even held a small trace of sadness.

I let my eyes flutter open, faking a yawn even though I knew my act had been seen through. A small gasp escaped my lips when I saw her. She was breathtaking with her satiny hair and sparkling eyes, contrasting so well with her snow white complexion. I twisted around in order to pass off the gasp as something involuntary from a stretch. As I settled back into the sheets, I caught a mischievous glint in her eyes that made me doubt whether or not she had believed the lie.

"Erm- wh-what's happening?" I stuttered out, my voice raspy from disuse. I cringed inside as the terrible noise that had issued from my throat reached my ears.

"Well," Bellatrix began, leaning forward to grab a glass of water that was sitting on the bedside table, resulting in me getting an eyeful of her luscious cleavage as the thrust her chest forward. Was it not against some sort of rule for her to reveal that much of her skin? Granted it wasn't enough to appear skanky in any way, merely enough to draw attention and cause one's mind to wander. "You seem to have a small problem with your coordination," Bellatrix attempted to joke and let out a small chuckle as she straightened and handed the glass of water to me. "You fell on your way to your Potions class yesterday. Fortunately, I was nearby when it happened and was able to get you here. Madame Pomfrey was quick to check you over. When you fell, you landed on your head causing a small concussion. Also, you had a hairline fracture in your arm and two broken ribs. It is evident that you must overachieve at everything, even managing to fall and get injured spectacularly. I have never heard of anyone managing to get so injured from a simple fall." This statement was met with more light, tinkling laughter from the older woman. I let a laugh escape as well, relaxing enough to sink into the covers a little more. She had yet to mention my cuts. A small hope began to form that maybe Madam Pomfrey's spell she'd used to look me over for injuries had been designed to find and heal minor wounds as well. "However, hurting yourself isn't something you want to do well at," Bellatrix continued, her smile sliding from her face, only to be replaced by one of dignified concern. This simple sentence caused knots to appear in my stomach. She did know. They all must have. They must have thought I was a freak. They were probably going to lock me up in St. Mungo's. This internal rant of mine lasted only for about thirty seconds during which Bellatrix had sighed and her eyebrows drew together concernedly. "There were other injuries, Miss Granger. Ones that cannot be explained away by your fall," she paused again, eyes searching my face as if looking for the answer to an unknown question. "There were twenty cuts on your forearm. They all appeared to be self-inflicted." I winced outwardly at that. They did know. There was no way for me to deny it, and all hope rushed out of me like the air out of a balloon when the end is untied.

I felt a warm stinging sensation as tears began to well up in my eyes. I cast my eyes down toward the foot of my bed, shame keeping me from meeting Bellatrix's gaze, which I could feel still boring into me. "Were they?" her voice was gentle, almost pleading. I glanced up, meeting her gaze. I saw hope there as she searched my face once more. It was almost as if she were grasping for any other answer, but I knew I had to give her the truth.

"Yes, they were," my voice was so tiny it was almost silent and it cracked twice during my statement. However, I did not doubt that she had both heard and understood me as I heard a sharp intake of air from where she was sitting. At that moent, I knew there was no going back. No second chances or time turners today. I had to deal with the consequences of my actions and that scared me more than anything else in my life ever has. I felt the first tear fall down my cheek, quickly followed by a second and a third. They each tried to race each other and grew progressively faster and began to creep out of my eyes faster as well. Soon my vision was too blurred to see straight. Bellatrix had merely sat there throughout my episode, a look of pity, wonder, and compassion gracing her features. Conflict shone in her eyes as she no doubt debated the best way to make me feel better.

"Miss Granger, I do not know what it is that has affected you in such a way that you feel harming yourself is necessary but I assure you it is not the answer. There are better ways to deal with whatever problems may be facing you," she said in an attempt to help. Coming from anyone else, I probably would have tuned them out and not even considered a word that they were telling me. But this was Bellatrix Black sitting here being compassionate and caring. No way in my right mind could I even attempt to tune this out. Even so, I didn't agree with her. Cutting was the only way to shut the Beast up.

"I'm not crazy, you know," I stated blandly. "I know that harming myself is not an acceptable behavior. I do not wish to die."

"I can tell that much. It still is not a habit anyone would like for you to keep," was Bellatrix's cool response.

"I won't. I don't want to end up here again. I'll stop cutting and take better care of myself," I promised, my words empty. I knew that was something I would be unable to accomplish. Still, I needed to convince her along with the other teachers that I was stable enough to be released.

"Good. I would like to be able to trust that your word alone would ensure this, however, it is the responsibility of the school to protect you. Therefore, the headmaster has come to the decision that you need to be under constant supervision," Bellatrix responded, obviously seeing through my lies.

"Under supervision..?" I trailed off, not fully comprehending what she was insinuating.

"Once you are released, you will be moving out of Gryffindor Tower. From there, you will move into my rivate quarters as the Headmaster believes that I am the one best suited to looking after you," Bellatrix explained, a nervous edge creeping into her voice The way she said it almost made it seem like she was expecting my rejection.

Immediately, my head began to spin. I was being sent to live with Bellatrix Black. The woman who I could not seem to get out of my head. The woman who invaded my dreams. The woman who, until recently, had been the most feared Death Eater of them all. A quiet, "oh," escaped my lips and then the hospital bed seemed to rush up to meet my face as the world around me faded to black.


	7. Chapter 6: The Discussion

A/N: Wow, I am so sorry for how long it has been. I won't bore you with excuses for none can excuse me for leaving this story be for so long. Although, the main issue was my computer, as it tends to work only when it wishes to. However, I got several favorites and follows over the past few days that have spurred me on to continue this sorry. So thank you for your patience and I hope you bear with me. I am beginning the next chapter now so hopefully I'll have that out within the next few days. I love you all and I hope you enjoy! (:

The moment Hermione's body went crashing down to meet the bed Bellatrix leapt to her feet and fled in search of Poppy. As she rushed off she felt a few hot tears trace their paths down her cheeks. Angrily she wiped them away, cursing herself for being so sensitive.

"She thinks I'm a monster. Of course she doesn't want to room with me," Bella muttered bitterly as she rounded the corner to Madame Pomfrey's office. Her eyes locked with those of the older witch's. Poppy's eyes widened as she caught sight of the panicked look on Bellatrix's face.

"What's happened?" Poppy inquired, leaping to her feet and swinging a small emergency potions bag over her shoulders.

"It's Hermione. She," Bellatrix started but found herself unable to meet the kind witch's gaze, embarrassment flushing her face. Bella paused and cleared her throat before continuing, "she fainted when I told her she'd be staying with me." By the end of her statement, Bellatrix's voice was small and hollow.

Upon hearing this, Poppy rushed off toward Hermione's bedside, but as she passed Bellatrix, she grasped the pained woman's arm and drug her along with her.

"Bella, you must realize she has had a recent head trauma, found out her biggest secret is no longer a secret, and was then informed she'd be changing her entire routine to live with a virtual stranger. It is not all that surprising that she fainted. You shouldn't take it as some sign she's against the idea of you," Poppy tried to quietly comfort her companion as she waved her wand over Hermione's motionless body, once more checking her with the xray spell. Relief washed over the mediwitch's face as it was revealed to her that no more damage had befallen the young girl who was already so broken. "I'm going to administer a potion that will wake her. It can take anywhere from five to twenty minutes to take affect. Once I've given her the potion, I'm going to go back into my office to allow you two the privacy you require to finish this discussion."

True to her word Poppy poured a light pink potion between the unconscious girl's slightly parted lips and quickly bustled away to her office. Bella merely sat nervously twisted her hands in her lap, her gaze trained on the sleeping girl. She couldn't help but trace each gentle curve of the girl's features. A small smile graced her face despite her own anxiety as she noticed how peaceful the girl was in sleep. She certainly looked much happier than she had when she was awake. This train of thought was disrupted as Hermione began to stir.

(Hermione's POV)

My mind was a mess, even more so than usual. I sat up, confusion etched on my face. I blinked a few times to clear my vision and was met with the sight of pure grace and beauty. Bellatrix had one plump lip caught between her teeth, worry shining bright in her dark eyes, and her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. As my mind processed this sight, my memory came rushing back and I realized what must have happened.

"I am so sorry," I apologized, reaching out with one of my hands to grasp hers. I could feel the worry rolling off of her, and realized she must have felt rejected by me. "I am not at all against rooming with you, I just got a little overwhelmed," I continued in an attempt both to explain and to assuage her worries.

A smile grew on her lips, just hinting at the perfectly white rows of teeth hidden behind them. "It's quite alright, Miss Granger. You have had quite a rough few days. It's all really understandable. However, if you truly are uncomfortable rooming with me, please tell me. I am sure the Headmaster could come up with another plan," Bellatrix tried to reassure me, but while her statement started out confident, the last sentence quavered slightly as it passed her lips and her eyes drooped slightly.

I forced the best smile I could manage and said as brightly as possible, "No, I am actually looking forward to it. In fact, if we are going to be living together it's probably best if you call me Hermione outside of classes." Her eyes immediately brightened and she sat a little straighter following my comment.

"Well thank you, Hermione," she said, placing a playful stress along my name, "I'm rather looking forward to it as well. It might also be a good idea if you called me Bellatrix outside of class as well. I'm not just interested in being your teacher," my heart skipped and I fought to focus on the rest of her sentence as my head ran away with that statement, "I am also your mentor, and hopefully one day I can call myself your friend."

I felt a deep blush creep up my neck, but ignored it in the hopes of not drawing attention to it. "I would like that," I confessed. In reality, I was looking forward to having someone to keep my mind occupied and thus, likely away from the Best within.

"Good. Now, I really must be going. My class started five minutes ago, and being tardy is not exactly the best impression. However, my main concern at the moment is you and your health, so if you need anything at all," Bella paused, reaching in her robes to extract a crinkled piece of parchment which she then tore in two, "just write a message for me on this piece of parchment and it shall appear on my own piece." Bellatrix finished her statement by handing over one half of the dry paper.

"Thank you," I mumbled, shyness creeping into my voice as I turned away to carefully tuck the paper into the drawer of my bedside table.

"You're welcome, Hermione," Bellatrix smiled down at me, reaching out to squeeze my hand before gently raising my uninjured arm to her mouth and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of my hand. My head began to spin the moment her lips met my flesh and by the time I regained my focus Bellatrix was long gone, leaving behind a tingle in my hand, and the quickly fading sent of lavender, honey, and a hint of mint.


	8. Chapter 7: Moving In

A/N: Two chapters in one day? The world must be ending. No, really, I am just so sorry for how long I made you guys wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is a bit lighter than most chapters. It is also the longest one yet. (:

As I sat there in the empty Hospital Wing, whatever remnants of happiness Bellatrix had stirred in me slowly faded as the dark Beast within reared its ugly head once more. It pointed out how pathetic I was to think she actually cared. She was a professor. The headmaster had ordered this. She was merely doing her job. Meanwhile, I was making myself out to be the idiot I really was. No amount of schoolwork could make up for the fact that I was stupid enough to fall for such a scheme. Tears burned the corners of my eyes as they started to fall. The Beast within purred at the achievement. The familiar urge surged in my chest and I reached down to feel the scars lacing my arm. My fingertips brushed the ridged lines on my forearm, yet something was off. Frantically, I pulled my sleeve up and brought my arm in front of my face to study it. The familiar dark pink lines seemed lighter, and smaller. Then the realization hit that Madame Pomfrey must be healing them. I couldn't stand the thought of losing them. They keep me grounded. I immediately began to search my surroundings for something sharp; anything to add to the rapidly shrinking collection of scars on my arm. I need to see the flesh tear apart, to feel the tickle of the blood as it oozes down my arm. My breaths became short as my chest tightened, constricting my breathing. My frantic gaze stopped on the drawer wear the crinkled parchment Bellatrix had given me was hidden. I knew there had to be a quill in there as well. The nib of one may just be sharp enough to break the surface of my skin. I flung the drawer open, the Beast clawing at my insides as I scrambled to find anything to soothe the turmoil. I had just wrapped my fingers around a quill when I heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Reluctantly, I let the quill drop back into the drawer, shutting it just before Harry and Ron came into sight.

"Hermione! We've been so worried about you. We were in and out of here all day yesterday, but McGonagall made us leave, and said she'd send word when you were up for visitors. We only just found out. You haven't been up long, have you?" Harry sat down next to my bed, his hair as disheveled as ever, flopping down to half cover his concerned gaze. Ron took a seat next to him, his brows creased with what I assumed was worry but you could never really know for certain with Ronald.

"Thanks, really. You don't have to worry so much. I'm alright, just clumsy," I said, trying to reassure them. I hoped with all my might no one had told them about my cuts. Despite our recent differences, I cared deeply for the two boys in front of me and I knew they cared for me as well. I couldn't bear to see the pain and disappoint in their eyes if they were to find out what was truly going on. Unconsciously, my hand rose to stroke y fading scars, a feeble attempt to cal myself.

Harry's gaze followed my hand, but he did not say anything. He had a naivety about him that protected him from truly grasping the situation. Still, I dropped my hand, worried about drawing too much attention to the area.

"Well, we sure are glad to see you're alright, 'Mione," Ron piped up, oblivious to the near miss that just happened.

"Thanks, Ron," I force my best fake smile. He can't tell the difference. That's all either of them have seen for over a year now. My mind starts to trail off to darker areas, but is snapped out of it as I hear the clicking of approaching heels. As I slowly zoned back into my surroundings, I realized Ron had been babbling on for quite a while about Quidditch practice and how well he was doing this year. I tried to pay attention so as to be able to respond, but suddenly lost my ability to pay attention once more as Bellatrix came into view. She wasn't yet looking at me so I took the opportunity to really study her without embarrassing myself. She walked with such grace and power that she commanded the attention of anyone around and yet there seemed to be a calculated air about it. As if this was the image she wanted to represent but was not really how she was. She then turned toward me and crossed the room in a few quick, powerful strides. Both of the boys by my bedside fell silent as she approached. Harry's face took on a brooding appearance whereas Ron merely went slack jawed. He never could hold himself together around beautiful women.

Bellatrix caught my eye and smiled, a genuinely sweet smile before clearing her throat and turning her attention to the young men by me.

"Mr. Weasley, it is not becoming to sit around with your mouth open as if waiting to catch something," Bellatrix said lightly, her tone not meant to offend, just to draw attention to the fact that she noticed him ogling her and did not appreciate it. Ron had the decency to act embarrassed and snap his mouth shut. He turned his head, but I could still see his ears as they reddened. "Now, Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, could you please excuse Miss Granger and myself. I have a few things I need to discuss with her in private," Bellatrix requested but here was a tone in her voice that made the boys realize it was not a request but an order. They both leapt to their feet, and bent to give me hugs before they left. "I'm sorry I had to make your friends leave Hermione," Bellatrix apologized softly once their retreating back had disappeared around the door.

"It's quite alright Bellatrix. I love them, but they can be a bit much for me at times," I admitted, shaking my head. A puzzled look crossed her dark features but she did not press for more information.

"I have some good news as well as what may possibly be taken as bad news," Bellatix began hesitantly. I crinkled my brow, imploring her to go on. "You're being released from the Hospital Wing, as soon as we finish this conversation," Bellatrix smiled but paused before continuing, "but you have to come back for check ups every two days. That's only for right now. Once Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Madame Pomfrey, and myself are all assured that you're doing better the appointments will become less frequent and eventually stop." Bellatrix looked into my eyes, anxiety written over her face. She was obviously very concerned with how I was going to take this news.

"Alright, I can understand that," I managed to state, but really my mind was already racing, trying to figure out a way to still be able to carve the gashes into my arm. The longest I had ever gone without doing it was a week, and that was only because I had the flu and was too sick to move.

"Good. You will be moving in to my suite tonight. You will even be given the next two days off classes so you can settle in and feel a bit better before you have to face the general public of Hogwarts," Bellatrix informed me, that same soft smile gracing her face once more. Part of me was happy with the news I wouldn't have to face more people yet. I didn't know how I'd be able to control the Beast without the pain in my arm. The other half of me, though, was even more panic stricken at the thought of not having a distraction from my own mind for two days and not being able to have my release either. I wasn't sure I'd be able to survive that. I needed to hide that half of me. I couldn't bear to let this woman who had sacrificed so much for others without complaint see me be any weaker than she had already been witness to. So, I forced et another smile, my cheeks burning from the suddenness of it all. I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled so much, even if it was fake.

"Thanks, that really is helpful. Although, I think I could manage to go to classes and be okay," I responded as happily as I could, trying to force down the Beast that was now trying to claw its way out my throat.

"Hermione, sweetie, I don't just want you to manage. I want to see you thrive like the beau- brilliant young woman you are," Bellatrix said in a low, comforting tone. It took me a few seconds to process what she'd almost said. I couldn't allow myself to think she had meant anything by it. After all, who could find a broken, scarred girl like me beautiful?

Three hours later, I stood in Bellatrix's living room, my trunk by my side, and a pillow clutched to my chest. Bellatrix had wandered off to make space for all of my things, so I took the time to take in my surroundings. Her carpet was plush and thick, a deep black. A black leather arm chair and matching couch sat on either side of a roaring fireplace, set in a dark marble. For someone who had just left life as a Death Eater behind, this woman sure did embrace the color black, I noted. The next thing that drew my attention was the walls on either side of the entrance. They were solid shelving from floor to ceiling and were overflowing with books on all manners of subjects. I tugged my trunk over to sit next to the couch and meandered over to the nearest bookshelf, hoping something would jump out at me. It had been so long since I had been able to indulge in reading as a pleasure. Really I hadn't been able to indulge in anything for a while, but reading was the one I missed most. I ended up picking a thick volume about the magical properties of different rare herbs and perched myself on the couch. Immediately, I found myself immersed in the book. There were plants in there I had never even heard of. Some distant part of me stirred with thirst for knowledge so I devoured as much of it as I could. I was so intrigued I missed Bellatrix's return. She quietly sat down on the other end of the couch, twisted to face me, and was simply studying me from afar. I felt her gaze boring into me eventually and raised my eyes to stare at her over the cover of the book.

"I'm sorry I helped myself to your book, Professor, I shouldn't have," I stammered, and tried to leap to my feet. I say tried because as soon as I was in upward motion, I was tugged back down by Bellatrix's strong hand wrapped around my wrist. I toppled back over, much closer to her than I had been when I was sitting originally. My thigh was pressed firmly against her leg and my arm was resting against the couch behind her to prop me up.

"It's okay Hermione, I want you to feel comfortable here," Bellatrix implored, her thumb tracing circles around my wrist, where her hand still rested, "and I do believe I asked you to call me Bellatrix outside of the classroom."

"Yes, I- of course Bellatrix," came my response as I struggled to understand why my heart kept racing. Something about he raven haired beauty in front of me just kept drawing me in.

"Right, well, let me show you around then," Bellatrix abruptly dropped her hold on my wrist and shook her head as she stood, as if mentally berating herself for something. I got to my feet and followed her out of the door to the right of where we entered. I found myself in a magnificent, albeit small, kitchen. Everything was gleaming stainless steel. "As you can see, this is the kitchen. The pantry over there," she pointer to a white door offset into the wall next to the oven, "is magically stocked with anything you might want. Just say it twice before you open the door and when you open it, it's there. The oven and stove are both enchanted to never burn anything. In fact, you really don't do the cooking.  
>You just tell it what you want, put all the ingredients in and it will pop back out entirely done within five minutes. Usually, it is a lot faster but depending on how complicated it is it can take up to that long. The fridge is also magically stocked with any beverages you might wish to have, except anything alcoholic," this last bit was added with humor in her voice and she tossed me a wild wink over her shoulder. I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks again, but luckily she had already turned back around to lead the way back through the living room and in another door. This door led to a small stretch of hallway with a door on either side. Bellatrix led me first through the door on the right. It opened up into a bathroom at least twice as large as the prefect bathrooms. The tub was at least the size of an Olympic swimming pool with magical taps evenly spaced every six inches around its rim. Over to the left there was a large, walk in shower with massage heads sticking out all along the wall so as to spray your body from every possible angle. There was a small door tucked into a corner containing the toilet and and a very large counter with two deep basins for sinks. I couldn't help the look of complete wonder that crossed my face as I took in the magnificence of this bathroom. I was snapped out of it by a quiet chuckle beside me.<p>

"I was quite clear when I agreed to come here that I wanted some sort of luxury to help make up for the hell I had to put up with for the past twenty years," Bellatrix noted, dark humor lacing her voice. She seemed to space out quite the same way I always did, but managed to jerk herself out of it after only a moment. "Come on, you still haven't seen the best part," she smiled, and led the way, gently bumping into my shoulder as she passed me.

I followed her back out of the enormous bathroom and through the door across the hall. I immediately recognized the room as her bedroom as standing in the venter of the room was a tall, regal looking canopy bed, with black lace draping in. It was covered in a gorgeous black comforter with a swirling silver pattern. The ceiling here was enchanted just as the great hall was, to show the sky outside. Currently, we were treated to a beautiful sunset, all pale pink and deep orange. It cast a comforting glow around the room.

"I can certainly see why you referred to this as the best part," I said in amazement as I stared up at the view above me. Bellatrix merely smiled in return and leaped up on to the bed.

"No, this is why I referred to it as the best part," Bellatrix replied, flopping back onto the bed, reminding me of a small child. I paused and just stood watching her for a moment before she patted the empty space beside her. Slowly and uncertainly I clambered up beside her and sat stiffly. The bed was amazingly soft, and it made me never want to get up again. I was so distracted by how comfortable it was to sit on that I didn't notice Bellatrix's arm snake around my waist until it was pulling me back to lay next to her. "You can't fully enjoy the ownders of this bed just by sitting on it," she teased. "I hope you like it though, really," she added, her voice losing its humor. "I really want you to be comfortable. And due to the nature of Hogwarts and the ancient magic embedded in this part of the castle the only person who can make any changed as far as additions go is the Headmaster and he left on Ministry business so this is where you will be sleeping tonight." My heart sped up at this admission. This was not leading where I thought it was, was it? "I will, of course be sleeping on the couch," Bellatrix added. Of course it wasn't going there. The Beast laughed at my stupidity once more, but before I could get lost in myself Bellatrix spoke again. "I'm going to step out and send your trunk in so you can get changed out of your hospital gown." I glanced down, mortified to realize I had been so caught up in everything I hadn't even realized I was still wearing my Hospital garb. Here I was looking a total mess, sitting next to this goddess of a woman who made being breathtakingly gorgeous look easy.

My mental ramblings were vut short by the thump of my trunk landing on the floor beside me. A note was taped on top, wrote in some flowy hand writing I didn't immediately recognize but must have been Bellatrix's. It read: It's getting late and I doubt you want to deal with all the miscreants around here. Just throw on some pajamas, I'll make us some dinner, and we can watch a movie (yes I know what those are.) See you in five for our pj party. –Bellatrix. I laughed, and folded the paper up, storing it in my bag. After all, I'd need proof that Bellatrix of all people suggested having a pj party with me. Maybe I was going crazy after all.


End file.
